Land of the Lost Review – CG Effects Steal the Show

If you’ve seen the 1970s series on which “Land of the Lost” is based, you know it’s low-budget and cheesy. The movie has some cool special effects, but overall, the plot tries to re-create the cheesiness of the TV series. It doesn’t really succeed, which is saying something. Or saying nothing, take your pick. Still, the movie has a few moments that click.

Like the TV show, the movie tells what happens when three people are transported to a world of dinosaurs and pod people. Only instead of a scientist and two kids, it’s a scientist and two mismatched adults.

As washed-up scientist Dr. Rick Marshall, Will Ferrell delivers his usual goofy humor. Anna Friel plays Holly Cantrell, an admirer of Rick’s research with tachyons and time travel. And Danny McBride plays Will Stanton, a redneck trying to make a living doing tours of his cheesy (there’s that word again) man-made cave in the middle of the desert.

During one of the tours, the three are sucked into a space-time vortex thanks to Marshall’s makeshift time-travel machine. But instead of being sent back or forward in time, they’re sent sideways, to a place where past and history meet.

The result is a prehistoric world where dinosaurs and pterodactyls exist in a wasteland of half-buried buildings, bridges, and Big Boy statues. It’s not as apocalyptic as it might sound. There’s still clear-blue water in a motel swimming pool, and the rear-end of an aqua-green vintage car gleams in the sun at an old-fashioned drive-in movie theater.

Once the trio falls into this world, they have to figure out how to get back. Thankfully, they’re befriended by a primitive “monkey-boy” named Cha-Ka (Jorma Taccone), who helps them fend off ferocious dinosaurs and sparkly-green alien-looking characters.

All of this is reminiscent of the TV show, only kicked up several thousand notches in the special effects department. Even though the plot is seriously lacking, the CG effects are so real that you actually find yourself cheering when the travelers evade dinosaurs and successfully navigate a nest of dino-eggs.

And the homage to the TV show is there, too. Upon being sucked into the vortex, the travelers fall down a giant waterfall in their yellow raft, the “routine expedition” phrase comes up more than once, and the theme song is even sung at one point.

And if you’ve watched the TV show – marathons of which have been playing on TVLand – you’ve probably screamed at the TV about how stupid Cha-Ka is, and how the travelers would be better off if they ditched him. Yep, that comes up, too.

Anna Friel is ok as the female/love interest of Rick Marshall, but a more well-known sidekick like Justin Bartha or Jonah Hill might have fared better in the Danny McBride role.

All of that said, “Land of the Lost” does have some laugh-out-loud moments, including a scene involving Cher’s voice-distortion machine on “Believe” and a running joke about the song “I Hope I Get It” from “A Chorus Line.”

And the computer-generated effects are fantastic!

NOTE TO PARENTS: At first glance, “Land of the Lost” seems like it would be a kid’s movie. Rest assured, it’s not. It’s rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, and for language, including a drug reference. Trust me, it’s all there, which is why I don’t recommend it for kids younger than 14.

Sex and nudity: A running joke involves Cha-Ka feeling up Holly’s breasts, and the sexual innuendoes are rampant, including scantily clad women and a male character saying “you may get wet” to a female character (double entendre). We also see Will Ferrell in his underwear, thought it’s more gross than sexual. A character douses himself in dinosaur urine to mask his scent, and someone is swallowed whole and excreted by a dinosaur.

Violence: It’s mostly of the comedic variety, including several scenes of peril involving dinosaur chases and pod people. A blood-sucking insect bites a character, causing the spot to swell up like a football (it made me cringe!). A character is torn to bits by dinosaurs, and we see a few severed limbs flying around.

Language: There’s a lot of profanity, including “Goddammit,” “God,” “boobs,” “damn,” “bitchslap,” “gay,” “ass-ton,” “pissed,” “bastard,” “s-tty,” “p—y,” “dong,” “asshole,” “crapballs,” “dick,” “Jesus,” “tap that ass,” “son-of-a-bitch” and others.

Drugs: There’s a reference to marijuana, and one scene involves characters ingesting a narcotic substance, then listening to Jimi Hendrix, playing in a swimming pool, passing out in the sand, and suggesting that two male characters French kiss each other.

Images: © Universal Studios